When your doctor says that smoking is bad for you, he’s not to just referring to your health. There are a lot to be considered when making an exit to the only world you know, and this includes your finesse in making your exit. Death by lung cancer isn’t something that you can brag about to the people in the afterlife. When he suggests that you take a nicotine gums in place of a cigarette stick in your systems rituals, you'd better take his advice. Here are some of the coolest ways to kick the bucket.
1. Get shot at. Now this is something to brag about to the netherworld people. When you get shot, there would always be a story to tell. People, or dead people, would be demanding for the details: who shot you, where did it happen, what happened to the killer, and most importantly, why did you get shot? Death by bullet is always something that you can share to the people who are interested. Whether it’s a simple mugging incident, or a massacre, or an assassination.
2. Terrorist bombing. This way, at least you get to be a part of history. When multitudes die because of terrorist attack, the whole world cries for them. I’m sure you would want the Pope to hold a prayer vigil for your departure to the afterlife.
3. The electric chair. Now this suggest that you really did something cool before you made your exit. When you’re sentenced with capital punishment it means that you were able to experience something other people dared not to even think about. The only thing that sucks is the fact that you got caught.
4. Hazing. This is another scenario when the world weeps for your death. After you die from hazing, there would be street protests, signature campaigns, and your family will have numerous television appearances. Your death will mean something. Hypothetically.
5. STD. This is self explanatory.
6. Old age and happy. This is probably the most desired. To die at seventy with your grandchildren cooking you breakfast every morning. You die at peace. In a rocking chair. You recall the stupid things you have done, the stupid people you dated, your sexcapades, your nagging old boss who’s is dead now, your stupid college professors making you do stupid projects. Here you get to summarize. You die on the sofa, holding a newspaper, with cup of coffee in front of you.
7. Of Course suicide (death by choice). Of course when you think that the rest of your life is a wreck, and there is no chance for a better future, you can always die at you own hands. You can be creative while you’re at it too. It can be in the form of the traditional Judas’ hangman, or as creative as Sylvia Plath’s head-in-an-oven. Whatever the form you choose, it will always be a statement. The fun part here is you can blame the whole world for your wrecked life using a small note you leave next to your body.
Smoking limits your chances of you making a grand exit. You would want your grandchildren to remember you for something that doesn’t involve your system breaking down due to organ failure.
