What is Long Overdue

Sometimes I feel like I never learn. Of course, the less people involved in a project, the easier it is to control the project's out come. I invited three artists to help me out with my long-overdue comic book project. The idea of having more than one artist to work on the project was Josel's, the first artist I approached for the project. Josel and I tried to do the project ourselves but a lot of things got in the way. He had his thesis. I had work, graduate school, and my fucked up personal life. Tonight I invited two more artists to work with us--one is Dar Galvan, a former line artist for our college paper, and Nelz Yumul, the fiancée of one of my closest friends. All of them are skilled artists. I am confident that the project I have for them is worth their while. My problem is, I'm not really good at working with people. I always want to be the one in control. I think for this particular project, I have to make a lot of compromise. Oh well. This is for the good of man kind.

As Ricci used to say, Hair is Memory

Jonah Lehrer: Feeling Sad Makes Us More Creative

http://bit.ly/dDx8yA

I guess he was happy when he wrote the title for this one.

The Theory of Everything

[note: this is the first line of the short story im currently working on. i hope i finish it soon.]

god made the world a dark and miserable place full of hatred, suffering, and trans-genders. to make up for it, he created gays, black people, koreans, and christians for us to make fun of.

On the Hostage Crisis

Here's a YM conversation about the recent hostage drama in Roxas Boulevard.

Me: Medyo nakakahiya maging Pilipino ngayon.

friend: why?

Me: hostage drama

friend: blaming the mendoza guy too?

Me: olatz pulis natin

Me: tapos ang babaw

Me: nakakahiya,daming nadeads

friend: hehe. mas naaawa ako dun sa nanghostage. gusto ko maintindihan story nya...

Me: psycho bastard

Me: i bet his mom never gave him attention when he was a kid

Me: i bet he was fat as a kid

Me: and got bullied

Me: i bet he use to kill animals when he was 6

friend is typing...

friend: i'm sorry, i will not talk to you about this if you talk about the guy like that. you know what? criminals may be "evil," but it's not entirely their fault, so i don't think anyone has the right to bash them. pare-pareho tayong may problema. siguro sila yung sasabihin nating hindi marunong magdala. but we can't really tell. i can't tell. hindi pa ako nalagay sa sitwasyon nya. i refuse to judge.

Friend has signed out. (8/23/2010 9:47 PM)

Me: lahat nga tayo nagkakaproblema

Me: but if you cross the line, you cross the line

Me: there is such thing as right and wrong

Me: oo, nasasapagdala yun. and it makes a big difference. at least 5 people are dead because he cannot contain his problem, and now matter what the fuck his problem is, he will always be answerable to the consequences of his actions. because it's plain wrong and stupid.

Me: no way to justify that

Me: it's torture to keep yourself in control when you feel like you're almost at the edge, but you have to. it's a categorical imperative that you do, for the greater good. if you fail. if you lose control. if you flip. suffer the consquences. you will be judge solely by your choices. not by what happened in your life.

if i were to make a mixed tape, here's the line up

here's the list of songs i've been listening to the past couple of weeks. my music player is an iPod shuffle so basically, i listen to those songs in no particular order. i intentionally limited the number of Air Supply songs to one. doctor's prescription.

She's always a woman to me - Billy Joel
For No One - the Beatles
Nogweigian Wood - the Beatles
Walts #2 - Elliot Smith
Fade Away - Sugarfree
I have to say I love you in a song - Jim Croce
Eleanor Rigby - the Beatles
Piazza New York Catcher - Belle and Sebastian
Between the Bars - Elliot Smith
Landslide - the Smashing Pumpkins
Burn Out - Sugarfree
Sampaguita - Yano
Summer Romance - Incubus
Everything Reminds Me of Her - Elliot Smith
Even the nights are better - Air Supply

Sisyphus, again?

I reread Albert Camus, his work The Myth of Sisyphus. Originally, I thought Camus was really brilliant coming up with that interpretation. But just recently, I’m beginning to change my views on the subject. Here’s a brief background on the myth. If you already know the story skip the preceding sentences and jump to the next paragraph, but for those who don't, carry on. In Greek mythology, he was the Smart Alek who made a mockery out of Hades several time (just google the details). Sisyphus was convicted of “crimes against the gods” and was condemned to eternal labor. His punishment was to push a boulder up a mountain, and whenever he would come close to the top, the boulder would slip his grasps and the damn thing would come rolling down again. His punishment is eternal frustration.

Camus said that the Gods wanted to see Sisyphus beg on knees to ask them for their aid. But according to Camus, Sisyphus is not the type who would have his pride trampled that easily. The titan would rather be eternally frustrated than to live the rest of forever with a shattered ego. Sisyphus knows (or at least has an idea) that pushing the boulder up the hill is really an impossible task, but he couldn’t care less. The only thing keeping him going is the program in his mind telling him to continue pushing. That he might succeed despite the small possibility.

Sisyphus would learn to enjoy his predicament, thinking that everything is about trying. Life is about pushing. Senseless labor isn’t entirely senseless if do your best, or something to that effect. The glory in attempt. Smile once the boulder reached the highest t could.

But what if what Sisyphus really wants is for the Gods to pity him? Surely, his ego is too though to give up, but if the Gods offered to cut him some slack, I doubt he would refuse the offer. Everything is a means to an end. Of course that would make Sisyphus a hypocrite. If that was to be the case, wouldn’t that reduce the earlier interpretation of life to mere arrogance? I doubt that the Gods would give humanity amnesty from our earthly and seemingly senseless labor under the sun. No matter how much we beg or plead. The most we can do is to justify senseless labor with the hypocrisy of glory in attempt. Who would want to smile at project unfinished anyway?

random things about me now

I find it weird. Everything below.

• I miss my bestfriend
• I’m having a hard time sleeping at night
• I read more math books now than poetry books
• I’m having a hard time writing
• I get anxiety attacks more often
• I can lock myself in my room for a whole day, going out only to eat and urinate
• I stay up every night until 3am
• I prefer not think that I’m depress, because I see no logical reason for that
• I prefer not to think that I’m denying that I’m depress, if I am, I would know
• I miss my bestfriend
• I watch a lot of cartoons lately
• I still want to go back to the Taekwondo team
• I drink a lot of tea
• I eat a lot
• I don’t like my dreams
• It’s been one and a half year since my bestfriend last talked to me and it’s killing me
• I like really this certain girl. I enjoy talking and being with her. But she scares me. A lot.
• I don’t enjoy the things I use to do: reading magazines, dvd hunting, etc
• I spend a lot of time sleeping
• I prefer to avoid reading psychology books
• I don’t enjoy the company of my friends the way I use to. I meant that with no offence. Really
• I don’t drink alcohol anymore. (maybe everything is due to withdrawal)
• I procrastinate a lot
• I like Hunter Thomson more than I like Tom Wolfe now
• I prefer to be secretive. (so not me)
• I spend a lot of time reading Wikipedia entries
• I haven’t played sports in a long while. (kahit lagi akong niyaya magbasket ng tropa ko)
• I feel tired all the time
• I’m trying to learn to play the piano
• I feel sad that I can’t bully anyone in grad school. I use to pick on my dork classmates in college and high school
• I don’t like Marxist ideologies the way I use to
• I hesitate a lot before doing anything. This I hate about myself now, because it makes me miss a lot of opportunities.
• I watch a lot of old movies
• I’m confused with the way I want my poetry to look like
• I spent a lot of time in YM
• I miss my athletic old self
• I spend a lot of time in Multiply
• I think Facebook is for robots
• I think I know why Marx was wrong
• I like my studies but I’m having a hard time financing my education
• I miss my old muscular built. Promise. There was a time.
• I will shoot anyone who will say and think that im emo. Not kiding.

Avatar Live Action

Finally, the cast for the Avatar live action is out. Entertainment Weekly is reported that M. Night Shyamalan has picked some of the cast for his upcoming film, The Last Airbender.

Here is what we know about the cast so far:

• Noah Ringer, a karate star chosen from an open casting call in Texas will play Aang, the central character (Aang) of the story. Aang is the last of his tribe and the story follows him as he and his companions travel the world in search of trainers to teach him to master the four elements.
• Nicola Peltz will play Katara of the Southern water tribe.
• Jackson Rathbone of recent Twilight fame will play Katara’s brother, Sokka.
• Jesse McCartney, the young singer, is currently in negotiations to play Zuko, the exiled prince of the Fire Nation.

IMDB.com wrote: "The story follows the adventures of the successor to a long line of Avatars who must put aside his irresponsible ways and stop the Fire Nation from enslaving the Water, Earth and Air nations."

Here's an interview with the creators regarding the movie




This is not the real trailer, pero ang linis ng pagkakagawa.




also, here's an interesting home-made video clip:

Sad State

College attrition a staggering 50%
Metro Manila enrollment on 10-year slide

Despite the effort of 8 million Filipinos toiling abroad to send their children to school, the number of college students enrolled in Metro Manila has been steadily dropping in the past 10 years.

From 371,000 college students tallied by the Commission on Higher Education in 1998, the number dropped 10 percent to 331,000 this school year.

While the lower number could be a result of more colleges being put up in the provinces, CHED officials themselves say it is lack of money that keep the youth out of school.

There is also a perceived trend that students drop after the second year in college to go to work as agents in call centers.

Considering that population growth has been steady at three percent per year in the past decade, the number of students, at the very least should have gone up that much.

Using population growth as gauge, the number of college students by this year should have reached 480,000 meaning 150,000 students or close to half of those enrolled fell down the cracks, out of school and forced to work and deprived of chance to get college education.

Lawyer Julito Vitriolo, OIC of the Executive Director’s Office of CHED, said there would be less enrollees in the next few years as a result of the weakening economy.

Considering that growth last year was at a 30-year peak, yet enrollment dropped, schools are bracing for worse times.

Parents, he said, cannot afford tuition of private schools, resulting in the exodus from private to cheaper schools or state colleges.

"A lot of students have transferred to PUP and TUP, because the tuition is much cheaper there", Vitriolo said.

PUP enrollees have risen from 29,667 in 1998 to 33,593 this year.

In contrast, Centro Escolar Univeristy’s students dropped from 27,370 in 1998 to 14,702 this year.

Adamson University where tuition is cheaper, registered a 27 percent growth in enrollment to 19, 967 from the previous academic year, 15,686.

Arellano University Manila registered a 29 percent growth in enrollment to 9,470 from the previous academic year of 7,318.

PUP vice president for administrative affairs lawyer Augustus Cesar said the state university has more enrollees that their facilities can accommodate.

"We don’t even know what to do with them," Cesar said.

Cesar said CHED is asking Congress to increase PUP’s budget. He said PUP needs P1.8 billion, less than one percent of the total education budget of P181 billion and only half of the P3.2 billion budget of the Technical Education and Skills Development Authority.

State colleges complain that in comparison with other Asian countries, the Philippines is only allocating education 2.5 percent of its gross domestic product (GDP), compared to Malaysia 6.2 percent, Brunei 3.7 percent, Indonesia 3.6 percent, Singapore 3.1 percent and Thailand 4.2 percent. GDP is the total value of goods and services produced in a country in a year.

Meanwhile UST registrar Rodolfo Clavio, said that UST has been able to maintain the number of its students.

Clavio expects other schools whose students are supported by OFW money to bear the brunt of the crisis.

He said that the expected fall in remittances from OFW parents could, in the coming years, translate to a decline in enrolment.

"A lot of our students here in UST have OFW parents. Since these students are partially dependent on OFW remittances, a decrease in remittances would result into a decrease in enrolment," Clavio said.

(From Malaya)